Relationship Problem: Money
Money problems can start even before the wedding vows are exchanged. They can stem, for example, from the expenses of courtship or from the high cost of a wedding. The National Foundation for Credit Counseling (NFCC) recommends that couples who have money woes take a deep breath and have a serious conversation about finances.
Problem-solving strategies:
* Be honest about your current financial situation. If things have gone south, continuing the same lifestyle is simply unrealistic.
* Don't approach the subject in the heat of battle. Instead, set aside a time that is convenient and non-threatening for both of you.
* Acknowledge that one partner may be a saver and one a spender, understand there are benefits to both, and agree to learn from each other's tendencies.
* Don't hide income or debt. Bring financial documents, including a recent credit report, pay stubs, bank statements, insurance policies, debts, and investments to the table.
* Don't blame.
* Construct a joint budget that includes savings.
* Decide which person will be responsible for paying the monthly bills.
* Allow each person to have independence by setting aside money to be spent at his or her discretion.
* Decide upon short-term and long-term goals. It's OK to have individual goals, but you should have family goals too.
* Talk about caring for your parents as they age and how to appropriately plan for their financial needs if needed.
